Does it ever seem to you as if it’s harder and harder to make new friends? Sometimes it’s our imagination, but sometimes it’s actually true.
When we’re young, we’re surrounded with lots of other people who are the same age as we are, and who are going through the same things we are going through. When we are still in school we can easily choose our friends from the hundreds of young people we encounter over and over again every week. When we are young and still going to school, making new friends is quite easy.
As we get older and get into the workforce, it can get harder to meet new people. We spend long days at work and sometimes we’re too busy to make friends there. Everyone else is busy too. If we get married and have families, we can be too exhausted to take the time to relax and get to know other people.
Something else always seems to be more important.
If the same thing is happening to everyone you know, it means that everybody is pressed for time. Every body is too busy. No one is making time for friendship. Spending time with friends becomes a casualty of our modern, hyper-busy and hyper-stressed lifestyle.
It’s too bad, because it’s not the way that humans were meant to live. Humans are social creatures who crave connection, acceptance, and intimacy.
No matter how much money you make, that money won’t love you back. You still need to have someone in your life who loves you, who cares about you, who cares about your successes and your problems. Someone who is willing to let you know they enjoy your company. Someone who will laugh with you, and even sometimes, laugh at you.
Even if you have a great marriage, one spouse can’t do it all. You need to have an assortment of people in your life so that you can be a part of a social network, part of your community. You still need an assortment of family and friends to count on.
People who lack community and friendship pay a toll in isolation and loneliness, as well as suffering from increased mental and physical health problems. On the other hand, those people who maintain strong connections to family and friends are able to go into their later years in better shape, physically and mentally.
I don’t believe in moaning and complaining about how awful modern society is becoming. I think we all need to start making the changes we want to see. If you feel that modern life is too impersonal and too hurried, start making changes in your own life, right now.
You can decide that making friends is going to be a priority for you. You can also decide that spending time with the friends you already have is a great investment in your future.
Make the effort to be kinder to others. Spend more time with your friends. Volunteer for something. Start new community groups.
If you have been too busy to make friends, make the decision that this will now become a priority for you.
If you have been too busy to see the friends you already have, change your schedule so that you can spend more time with them.
When you look back on your life in your later years, you will find that the loving times you spent with family and friends were the best times of all.